When your kid is defiant (The golden rule beats a golden shower.)

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We’ve all been asked to do things  we feel are ridiculous.  Maybe the store-owner asks you to use the restroom stall to breastfeed your kid.  Maybe your mother, forgetting what it’s like to be a parent, tells you that you really should prioritize wiping … Continue reading

Shame: The toxic feeling behind addiction, yelling, and participating in fundraisers even though you don’t want to.

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In my line of work, I am privileged to catch glimpses of humanity’s vulnerability:  “I don’t initiate sex because it would destroy me if she said no.”  “I fear my own rage when my child makes me angry,” “I’m still thinking about … Continue reading

Everyone else is a narcissist!! Or, could it be ME?

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Since articles without tangible application are boring, let’s get started with a simple quiz.  Chose a response to the following scenarios: 1) Your friend/spouse kept you waiting at the restaurant for 30 minutes, before he finally shows up, clearly frazzled and … Continue reading

10 things your therapist knows about you (that you wish your spouse knew).

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Therapists.  Admittedly, we tend to be a hippy dippy bunch.  Trained to pull from our vast understandings of neurology and human nature, we spend years developing virtually bottomless capacities for empathy.  Just kidding.  I mean, yes there is a little of that, but it also helps … Continue reading

Make a Super Manly Starlight Costume for Your Husband (Since You are Being Rainbow Brite for Halloween)

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Rainbow Brite:  Every October since college, I have imagined, just for a night, rolling around in smiles and stripes to become some version of this childhood icon.  This year, I finally fulfill my decade-long dream… Adult costume party to attend:  Check. Striped Socks … Continue reading

4 Ways Our Pasts Affect Our Current Relationships

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Kent, a retired army commander, often discussed his marital struggles in therapy: “Doc, get this:  Marianne said she needed to take a business trip to Chicago with a male coworker. I did just like you would have told me to do- I calmly asked her not … Continue reading

The Loyalty Dilema: Caught Between the Wife and the Mother

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Dear male readers (all seven of you.  Hint hint, please tag your husband and share this article.), Let’s talk about a little dilemma that I too-often hear about in couples therapy:  Your wife is pissed because you won’t tell your overbearing/judgmental … Continue reading

Reader Asks: My stepson’s father sucks.

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Reader Asks: I have a step son who while isn’t “special needs,” he has anxiety and general effort issues. He certainly requires more time and energy than my kids to motivate and disciple. That however is not why I write … Continue reading

Ode to the anxious person’s spouse.

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Dear spouse of a person whose nerves are raw, You are a vision of patience and deserve an applause. How sweetly you listen to Web MD’s diagnosis, When your spouse knows she has deep vein thrombosis. Hail to you when you don’t roll your eyes, When your partner … Continue reading