Mothers, smothers, & lovers. (A tale of abandonment and engulfment.)

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By Angelica Shiels Psy.D. Duane and Mary often fought about the same thing over and over:  Duane was distant and unresponsive to Mary’s emotional and physical advances; Mary relentlessly  smothered Duane with her demands for conversation and intimacy.  This couple, like many … Continue reading

Does my unhelpful, selfish husband have ADHD?

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By Angelica Shiels Psy.D. I was recently reading a great article about ADHD and marriage. Basically, the article described a type of “irritable, selfish, unhelpful, sometimes useless” partner, a partner often described to me in therapy by a frustrated wife, describing her schlub … Continue reading

How to talk to people so they will listen. (Yes, even your teenager and your husband.)

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By Angelica Shiels Psy.D. Most mental health counselors receive some kind of training in how to communicate in a way that errrr… doesn’t sound off-putting, arrogant, one-sided, and ridiculous.  And lo and behold, it is not just the people who … Continue reading

“Love” Unfit for a Hallmark Card

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By Angelica Shiels Psy.D. (Article also posted on Mamapedia) For two days after the birth of our first child, my husband and I were overcome with this complex combination of calm and crazy.   As first-time parents, we were so proud, so … Continue reading

Warning: Steer clear of this relationship wrecking ball!

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By Angelica Shiels Psy.D. We’re all familiar with this cliché scenario: A wife stands there, “nagging” her husband with her hands on her hips, and her husband simply turns up the TV volume while he continues to look straight ahead … Continue reading

Don’t want to fight? Try these simple conflict-busters.

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By Angelica Shiels Psy.D. No, there isn’t going to be a flowery intro on this post; I’m just getting straight to the point (much like how your conversations will go if all goes right.)… But I should say that these … Continue reading