1) The habit of noticing their feelings and needs and being empowered to express them (directly and respectfully).
2) The awareness that someone else’s feelings and needs are never “wrong” or to be argued.
3) The abilities to delay gratification and control impulses.
4) Basic communication skills such as respectful listening (eye contact, no distractions), repeating back what they heard, letting others know that their perspectives are understandable, and showing empathy verbally. Also, the art of a good apology (no justification for the behavior; Only “I am sorry for…..You didn’t deserve…. What I will do differently next time is….”)
5). Knowing the right questions (specific, about experiences, feelings, and reactions) to deepen connection and genuinely share in another person’s experience.
6). The balance of self-worth an humility that comes with knowing they are worthy of having their needs met and at the same time so is the other person. The balance of self-worth and humility that comes with being able to admit when they’re wrong and at the same time tolerating the mistakes of others.
7). The idea that being alone is okay (and preferable to an unhealthy relationship).
8). The mindset of personal responsibility for their own life; The habit of asking themselves what they themselves could do to solve problems/become happier.
9). A comfort level with admitting vulnerability and mistakes ( instead of shutting down, avoiding, or lying) as well as a comfort level owning victories and triumphs (without conceit, condescension, or the need to belittle others.)
10). The habit of considering the impact on others before behaving. Aka “You are important, but it’s not ALL about you.”