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This essay is part of the “Real Relationships Series” on the yellow couch. This series showcases the sometimes beautiful, sometimes agonizing, and often messy aspects of relationships through real-life stories told by brave men and women. The intent of these essays … Continue reading
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People often come to therapy with a certain kind of debilitating anxiety: The need to please and an overly-developed sense of responsibility for the feelings of others. At best, this anxiety manifests as a sense of panic when others convey … Continue reading
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You guys. You GUYS! Did you HEAR? THERAPY is better for insomnia than PILLS! Duh, therapy is better than a pill. Therapy trains your brain to wind itself down, while a pill ninja-wacks your brain into submission, thereby encouraging your … Continue reading
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Any adult who has had me for a therapist knows I ask one weird question to take the temperature of one’s mental well-being: What do your counter tops look like? Pristine? Probably a low tolerance for disorder and a higher … Continue reading
I say this all the time. Love schmuv. I am bad at keeping my facial expressions in check, so sometimes in therapy, I instinctually wince when someone in an incompatible relationship says something like “But we LOVE each other.” Then … Continue reading
Arghhhh. Did you hear about the school that stamped kids’ wrists with a small “needs lunch money” note? Nothing permanent, not a sign that says “loser,” just needs-lunch-money, displayed so the parent saw it. Parents are going nuts. It’s a … Continue reading
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The other night as my husband was getting ready for bed, I heard him mumble at me from the bathroom, “you’re a good wife, but not a good roommate.” By prefacing his criticism with a compliment, he was trying to … Continue reading
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Every day before kindergarten, my mom used to read me a story from a series of children’s books called “Sweet Pickles.” Each book wove a meaningful life lesson into the thrilling life of an anthropomorphized cartoon animal. Ironically, of the … Continue reading
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It was the middle of the 2015 blizzard affectionately referred to by Marylanders as “snowmaggedon.” Naturally, my husband and I felt it was a good idea to schlep our three kids through three-feet-deep snow on a three-mile-round-trip hike. Good sledding … Continue reading
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We all know a Negative Nancy or Danny Downer. Whether the source is a spouse, a parent, or even one’s own self-talk, it is emotionally exhausting and joy-sucking to be around constant criticism, doubt, and pessimism. Imagine a parent sighing … Continue reading
ON THE YELLOW COUCH 