Neglectful Dan and Spazzy Marci: A super common couples dynamic. (Or individual dynamic if you are Marci b/c Dan only comes to therapy if he is dragged by his ear.)

Behold, my sloppy attempt to capture a dynamic I see EXTREMELY OFTEN in therapy, where a “crazy” person is not really crazy at all and a “neglectful” person is not really a narcissist at all, AND the whole misguided cycle of defenses-and-habits can be stopped in its tracks…

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Obviously, if this is you, find a good couples therapist who will both validate each person’s misguided defenses AND hold each person accountable to challenging those defenses (with systematic behavioral tweaks that actually feel achievable!?)!!

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